Solar Ricardo

Solar Ricardo

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Fuck you, Brother! Cheating Printers for Fun and Profit.

I used a red cartridge so it would show up better
"So what if I'm out of yellow ink, you bastard!  I'm printing in black and white.  Like always. Black and FUCKING WHITE!!! Goddam it! Just print, you prick!"

 This is the one-sided conversation I have on a regular basis with my Brother printer. When one ink cartridge gets low, I AM FUCKED.
Look at all that ink in there! Come out, Dammit!

"No printing today, Asshole!" it beeps back at me. "You forgot to buy more yellow, at Staples, 65.5 miles from here. And despite the fact that I clearly show 20% full even on my own sensor, you need to drive 2 hours and replace the 20% full cartridge before you can print your pathetic ramblings."

"Holy Mother of fuck... I want to smash you."

It just winks.
Electrical tape. The great equalizer.

In sullen desperation, I take out the yellow cartridge. I turn it over and over in my hand. I hold it up to my ear and shake it. I hear fluid in there. It pisses yellow ink right in my ear.

Then, I notice something- a little window on the front of the cartridge. When you tip it up you can see the ink in it. Mocking me. Then it comes to me.That little fucker looks in the window. It's not little Brothers fault! It's those fucking engineers that are to blame! 

Fuck you, Brother!
I  grab a roll of black electrical tape, cut out a little square and put it over the window. VIOLA! Brother thinks yellow is full, and prints away, merrily in full color.

Now, I'm assuming that if that goes dry and the head sits without ink in it for a while, it will probably clog up. So, this is only a quick fix. But If I remember to get another yellow cartridge and have it on hand as soon as the old one runs out, everything will be dandy.

The problem is, I won't remember.

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